Two monkeys sat in a coconut tree,
Observing the people below,
Who appeared to be in a frenzied state
As they scampered around to and fro.
The first monkey said, "I understand
They call it the race of the rat,
And I'll admit I couldn't suggest
A name more fitting than that!
"It's a pity how they struggle and scratch,
Even brother set against brother;
They choose up sides, and their leaders all
Make faces and growl at each other.
"As they study new ways of fighting their foe,
And the tension between them increases,
They've peopled around and found a way
To blow the whole world to pieces!
"Why they'd want to destroy themselves
Is an unexplainable riddle,
But what is really bothering me
Is we'll get caught in the middle!
"Their theory of evolution's absurd,
And isn't worth much of a fuss;
No self-respecting monkey'd believe
That they descended from us!"
--The Buckeye Poet (1991)
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