Saturday, November 27, 2010


Editor's note: Many of you know Dad was a popular after-dinner speaker for many years, and with that came some pluses and minuses. "After-dinner speaking is not, in itself, fattening," he wrote as the introduction to this poem. "But the environment is conducive to overeating, especially around the holidays." Most of us don't do the public speaking circuit, but this time of year, I think we can relate to what he's talking about!

Thanksgiving time is on us,
And we've cause to celebrate,
But I've been doing, maybe,
More than what I should, of late.

For, almost every evening
Finds me occupied somewhere,
At a banquet table loaded
With that good Thanksgiving fare!

Heaping mounds of turkey,
And the dressing piled up high!
Cranberry sauce and salad,
And delicious pumpkin pie!

I'm thankful for the bounty
Of this gala festive board,
But my middle section shows it,
Which I cannot well afford.

I've been a turkey lover,
For many, many years,
But I'm so full of turkey now,
It's running out my ears!

When I came home last evening,
And the same the night before,
Lucy came and let me in
When I gobbled at the door!

--Acres of Verse (1994)

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Editor's note: "Fortune comes to everyone who waits," Dad reminded in the introduction to this poem. "This one saying may be true, if you don't run out of time."

I don't care how far you've come
Toward acquiring fame;
It doesn't bother me at all,
That people hail your name.

And I don't give a hoot because
Your house is bigger'n mine,
And you've got such a fancy place,
And all fixed up so fine.

You're welcome to your Cadillac,
You drive with such delight;
I don't begrudge you all of this,
As a jealous fellow might.

But, if we're even, all of us,
And equal at the start,
It's hard to see how we can get
So many bucks apart!

For your good fortune to arrive,
You hadn't long to wait;
But it appears that mine will come
Too little and too late!

With all the riches you have gained,
I say hooray for you!
Though I'd be better satisfied
If I could have some, too!

--Acres of Verse (1994)

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Editor's note: "I'm sure we all sometimes recognize a person with whom we are not acquainted, and are also acquainted with some we don't really know," Dad wrote as the introduction to this poem.

I chanced to meet an acquaintance
While strolling, one autumn day,
And each of us said, "Good morning,"
And went on his merry way.

It wasn't in any way different
Than what we had done before;
We'd greeted and passed each other
On a hundred occasions or more.

But I'd never shortened my sail
Or paused for a second look;
As goes the old country saying,
We'd howdied, but never had shook.

I knew where he lived on the corner,
With a vacant lot out behind,
But what he did for a living
Had never entered my mind.

"A mighty find fellow," I pondered,
As his name I tried to recall,
Then I realized, all of a sudden,
That I hardly knew him at all!

So I vowed to learn more about him,
And the hand of a neighbor extend;
I found it well worth the effort --
My acquaintance became my friend!

I learned a valuable lesson,
And I have this moral to tell;
If a man's worth knowing at all,
He's certainly worth knowing well!

--The Buckeye Poet (1991)

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Editor's note: "When I was a lad, if we wanted to go to work an hour earlier, we just set the alarm clock as hour earlier. Pretty dumb, huh?" Dad wrote as the introduction to this poem. No, Pop, I think maybe you were on to something.

The whole thing began, so the story goes,
With an Indian chief called Running Nose.
I understand this redskin bold
Complained because his feet got cold,
For his blanket wasn't sufficient quite
To reach from end to end at night.

When he pulled it up beneath his chin
It seems his troubles would then begin,
For that would leave the other end bare,
And it stuck out in the frigid air,
And that is the reason, so I suppose,
That he got the name of Running Nose.

So the tribal council gathered around
The campfire on the communal ground,
And debated how to afford relief
From this problem besetting their mighty chief,
And they proved to be, at this big pow-wow,
Just about as smart as we are now.

These wise old chiefs decided to lop
A foot or so from off of the top
Of his blanket, which then he could sew
Onto the end that was short below!
The logic behind this remarkable plan
Explains how Daylight Savings Time began!

--Autumn Acres (1982)