Sunday, April 22, 2012

THE HANDY MAN

Editor's note: Anyone who knew Dad (Slim) back in the day knew how much he loved to build things -- and Mom (Lucy) always had some kind of fix-up project for him to work on. Apparently, Dad got the construction gene from his father. But although I was allowed to help with some tasks like digging fencepost holes and hammering a few nails, that's where the whole thing stopped.

My Dad was very able
And mechanically inclined,
About as good a handy-man
As you could ever find;

And thanks to all the little tricks
He taught me, as a lad,
I really think I'm just about
As handy as my Dad.

If it's busted, I can fix it!
That is, if anybody can,
So I've earned a reputation
As a first-class handy-man!

When I gave up the single state,
My newly-wedded spouse
Was very thrilled that I could fix
Little things around the house.

I started in on what-nots,
In our early married life,
But soon went on to bigger things
Suggested by my wife!

Before I knew what happened,
She had me on the run,
She could think up projects faster
Than I could get 'em done!

I bought the house we live in,
A ranch type bungalow,
Then added on a carport,
And a screened-in patio;

And when I got it painted,
I thought I had it done;
I found I was mistaken --
I'd only just begun!

I made our kitchen cupboards,
The bookshelves on the wall,
The fireplace in the fam'ly room,
The closets in the hall;

Then I built another bathroom,
Not because we needed two--
We had to have the second one
Because the neighbors do!

Little jobs, and big jobs,
So many I recall,
It makes a fellow wonder
How he ever did 'em all!

But at last we reached the summit,
When anyone could see
We had it all completed
To the very Nth degree.

Then I longed for rest and comfort
But that wasn't what I found;
Lucy got it in her head
To change some things around!

Things, not so very long ago,
We just couldn't do without,
Have now become so obsolete
We have to tear 'em out.

I won't attempt to tell you
All the work I have in store;
And anyhow, before I'm done,
She'll dream up plenty more!

But Lucy has assured me
That she will let me be
Whenever I finish up this list
That she's made out for me.

And then, if the Lord is willing,
And lets me stay alive,
I can start to take it easy,
At the age of ninety-five!

Oh, she appreciates it all,
And that is fine and dandy,
But y'know, sometimes I sorta wish
I wasn't quite so handy!

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