THE JUST REWARD

A rich man went to Heaven,
And stopped upon the stair,
While an angel opened wide the book,
To find his record there.

He said, "This page is blank, sir,
Now, that seems very queer --
Did you do nothing down on earth
To earn admission here?

The rich man thought a moment,
As he slowly scratched his head,
And then his eyes, they brightened,
And this is what he said.

"Why yes, I just remembered,
This ought to do the trick!
I once gave a man a dollar
Who was destitute and sick."

The angel closed the record
When the interview was through,
Then turned to old St. Peter
And asked him what to do.

St. Peter stroked his whiskers,
And then said, "Very well.
Let's give the man his dollar back,
And tell him to go to Hell!"

--The Buckeye Poet (1991)