THE QUIZ KID

Editor's note: "Little boys ask questions, and little boys demand answers. The quality of their preschool education sometimes depends a great deal on the wisdom, mental dexterity, diplomacy and tact of Grandpa." I always figured Dad had our son Scott in mind when he wrote that introduction to this poem. Scott (and later his sister Christine) used to love spending a couple of weeks "down on the farm" with their Grandpa and Grandma Pickett each summer -- and knowing Scott, I'm sure there was no shortage of questions.

Grandfathers all will tell you
It's a super-human task
To answer all the questions
That little fellers ask.

Grandpa, where is Heaven,
Do they have McDonald's there?
Do butterflies have babies,
And why don't snakes have hair?

How do honey bees make honey?
And do fishes sleep at night?
He wonders why the sky is blue,
And why the snow is white.

Grandpa fibs a little bit,
Sometimes, to make a show,
For it would hurt his image
To admit he doesn't know.

And many of the riddles
Coming from this little man,
Even Solomon couldn't answer,
But he thinks his Grandpa can!

--The Buckeye Poet (1991)

A SMILE

Like a little ray of sunshine
On a dark and gloomy day,
A little bit of cheeriness
Will go a long, long way;
When things are going backward,
And a body's feelin' blue,
It's a most amazing wonder
What a little smile can do.

When the blahs have really got you,
And you're most inclined to frown,
You don't look very pretty
When your smile is upside down;
So brighten up your visage,
You'll feel better if you do.
What's more, somebody else may get
The point, and try it too.

So when I'm socializing,
Or just walking down the street,
I try to smile a greeting to most everyone I meet;
Though some may think I'm silly
To be grinning all the while,
I may give a lift to others
With a warm and friendly smile.

--Autumn Acres (1982)

THE SUPER-FELLOW

Editor's note: Perhaps because of his Quaker background, Dad never felt he was better than anyone else; for him, it was do unto others and live and let live. He was a hard worker and proud of his accomplishments (and those of others), but he had little use for anyone who "put on airs."

He was quite a dignitary,
Not of ordinary stride,
And his name was quoted frequently
In circles far and wide.
Many were his lackeys,
This man of great renown,
And his wishes were commandments
To the elders of the town.

Fortune seemed to follow
Every venture he began,
For he, you see, was truly
Not an ordinary man.
But Mortal never holds back
The time nor the tide,
And so eventually, of course,
This man of stature died.

His coffin was selected
From the finest and the best.
Expenses were no object
When they carried him to rest.
At peace beneath the daisies now,
This super-fellow lies,
But he's resting in a hole
That's just of ordinary size!

--Autumn Acres (1982)

UPS AND DOWNS

Now it has been established,
People everywhere behave
On a scientific schedule,
From the cradle to the grave.

They call it biorhythm,
And it's easy understood--
We have a string of bad days,
Then we have a string of good.

With rhythmic undulations,
Like the tide, it ebbs and flows,
Going up to reach the high points,
Then down into the lows.

Sometimes I do have good days,
When I'm really going strong,
But more, it seems, the other kind,
When everything goes wrong!

If I could change the program,
I'd be having, goodness knows,
A little less of this kind,
And a little more of those!

--Square Marbles (1978)

FLY-SPECK PHILOSOPHY

Editor's note: This one is a favorite of Dad's sister, Olive Alspach, who's a resident of The Brethren's Retirement Community in Greenville, Ohio, where Dad lived. It's a favorite of mine as well.

The Good Book tells us mortal man
Was made from common clay,
And also that in a thousand years,
To God, is like one day.

The vastness of the universe
Is hard to understand,
But every human being's like
One little grain of sand.

Contemplating all of this,
Eternity, and such,
The time and space we occupy
Just don't amount to much!

We linger very briefly,
On our way in passing by;
We cannot slacken off our pace,
No matter how we try.

It seems like only yesterday
That I was in my prime;
And now, in almost nothing flat,
I'm running out of time!

I sprang from dust, and soon will be
Returning to the same;
But though it's been too short a stay,
I'm awfully glad I came!

--Eighty After Eighty (1995)

RE-RESOLVE

New Year's Day has come again,
Another year is spent!
And though it's gone, to save my soul,
I don't know where it went!

It seems like only yesterday
The old year had begun,
And I made resolutions,
Just the way I've always done.

I never fail to make 'em,
If only one or two;
I feel, for self-improvement,
It's the proper thing to do.

I know I have my foibles,
And I'm really proud to say,
I lay 'em on the table,
Never fail, come New Year's Day!

It takes a little gumption,
But I'm certain, if you try,
With honest self-appraisal,
You can do as well as I.

I've made a couple good ones
For this New Year, even though
I really haven't used the ones
I made a year ago!

--Eighty After Eighty (1995)

THE SUNSHINE TRAIT

Editor's note: Dad was practical almost to a fault. He had little interest in trinkets and gadgets unless they served a real purpose; why get a color TV when the black-and-white one was working just fine? Clearly, he enjoyed a joke as much or more than anyone, but if he valued one characteristic above all else, it was plain old common sense.

Of all the human qualities
A person should possess,
A vibrant sense of humor
Would be number one, I guess.

It makes our journey smoother,
On a rough and stormy day,
Like shock absorbers help you
Over pot holes in your way.

Though we may have our troubles,
We can take them all in stride
If we have a sense of humor,
And can see the lighter side.

It's true, you can't take everything
As fun, for goodness sake!
But you can make a difference
By the attitude you take.

And other folks may benefit
By imitating you;
As goes the old-time saying,
"Monkey see, and monkey do!"

But I'll admit, in closing,
That it doesn't help a lot
To have a sense of humor,
If that's all the sense you've got!

--Hominy Grits (1986)